Before stepping in to 2011

After checking back my new year resolutions last year, only the first one has come true. The other two, still pending. Maybe they will take some time or maybe they wont come true at all. This year, before stepping over into 2011, I have only two new year resolutions:

1) I hope my family and friends will be in good health
2) I will have more meaningful experiences in 2011

Thanks. I will come back to check this post when it is 2012 next year.

Christmas post and Splurge

I shall also update what I did on christmas day. It was not good although I don't have the culture to celebrate it. I followed my family to go to Orchard road that day like all others would do. Reached there around 5pm, walked around and found that there was really nothing like what I have expected although this was not the first time I went there during christmas. The lighting was just normal. Some floats were there standing(new for this year), for people to take photo. Other than that, the thing that struck onto my mind was PEOPLE. It could be so crowded. The worst was it rained only after 1hour we reached there!! People were fighting shelter. All the floats stood under the rain. Performances all stopped. Like wtf, I just reached there and you rained? We ate a burger set in McD and left by squeezing through the crowd. The total amount of time we spent there was only less than 3 hours. The record lowest I think.

orchard road during christmas

The next day after christmas, I splurged RM359.10 for a so called 'DOWN winter jacket'. I felt so sorry for my parents who needed to pay for me. The worse is this is only the 1st thing in my purchase list for hong kong. There will be more coming soon!! OMG, I AM BROKE or rather MY PARENTS ARE BROKE!!

RM 359.10 nett

退步了

不想看到的情况发生了。心情很闷。仿佛之前4个学期的努力在这个学期都功亏一篑了。
庆幸的是退步的程度只是稍微比我预期中的严重一点，不过还是可以接受的范围。也许我不应该放弃SEP。

现实还是泡影？？

明天，就是明天早上10点。等了又等，紧张了又紧张的成绩要放榜了。

两个可能性：
1）成绩能保持 -> 开心的去SEP
2）成绩不理想 -> 放弃SEP， 损失SD500++，下学期继续呆在NUS为考试和成绩而忙。

现在的我非常，极度的紧张。接下来的13个小时我应该会呈现出所谓的 ‘考试放榜前紧张症’。睡不着觉是一定的。胡思乱想，胡乱紧张，精神恍惚 。。。应该都会有可能。

明天就揭晓到底是成为现实还是泡影。

Disappointed

I was just announced that I failed to be awarded the NASA award(SD 2500) to sustain my student exchange program in Hong Kong. A bit disappointed of course. Is this a sign that my result releasing on next Tuesday will also be very bad that I finally have to drop this student exchange program as well??

I hope it is NOT !

New title, New layout

Another 3 hours spent to get this new layout out after using the previous one for quite a long time. I am still not very satisfied with this new layout but I am just too lazy to continue. Just let this stay here for a while until I pick up the momentum to change it again. If I have the designer eyes, I can have a nicer layout next time.

Yeh!! Finally!

You Know What!
I Finished All My Papers Already!!!
So Excited Towards My SEP!

NEARer !!

When I kept my notes and textbooks one by one onto the bookshelf, I know I am getting nearer and nearer to my holiday and Hong Kong !! 2 more papers and that's it. Wish me luck! My Hong Kong student exchange program is still very much depends on my result of this semester.

30th January 2011

Exam just 2 weeks away and I am still rushing for the assignments' deadlines and find no time to really do revision.

Sigh.. Life is busy.

I am looking forward to 30th January 2011.

30th JANUARY 2011 is my motivation now!

又输了！

说没感觉是不可能的。
也许是痛过，所以不敢再试了。
我总是这样所以到最后什么都没有。

rot in hall

Mugging halfway through, I started to think of why am I making my life so boring. I have not really gone out to visit Singapore like seriously although I have been here for 2 and a half years.
Marina barrage?? sorry I haven't been there even once. Resort world? sorry the same answer. Orchard road? once but last year. Watch movie? once but long long ago.
Omg, what a boring life am I in Singapore.

I must visit resort world and marina barrage at least once before the end of this semester. Where is my partner?? anyone??

I am a fool

MONDAY

My mood is totally affected by the test result I have just gotten back. I feel like I am a fool inside the class looking at the marks I got. My mood is so down now. I seriously need to do something before the final exam comes.

担心

最近父母的健康让我有些担心。因为到外边住的关系所以不能天天见到他们。就连他们生病我也不能马上知道。妈妈因为知道我在考试的关系所以没有马上告诉我。听到后我真的心很酸，有点想哭。
但也正因为我在外住的关系，我开始发现当我对父母说一些关心的话时我不再感到尴尬。以前虽然还是关心他们，但就是没能说出口。现在我真希望上天能保佑我父母健康，我妈妈没事才好。

6TH OCTOBER 2010

What did I do in 6th october 2010?

(1) still mugging for my test 2mr.
(2) sat in front of my computer to reply every single wish posted in facebook from my friends.

Suddenly I felt I was surrounded by all my friends! I did not know I actually have so many friends!
But seriously speaking, I still prefer face to face wishing rather than digital type. At least it is more meaningful.

My usual post-test symptom

My mood is grey colour now.
I have the post-test symptom.
emo is the thing I gonna do at least for the next days,
because of this ESE3201 midterm test.....
ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope my dad's medical check up tomorrow will be fine although I can't accompany him to go..

'RECESS' week

I have finished half of my semester (half more semester to Hong Kong !!!).

Things to be done in this one week recess week:
a) do revision for 4 mid-term tests
b) one lab report
c) one mini project
d) one presentation ppt
e) HELA report

Looks like I gonna spend most of my time in hall during recess week to do my works when people all go back to their home :(

Half way through the semester

I am very discouraged to do everything recently. My mood is very down. I am very tired mentally. Partly is because of the increasing work quantity I would need to handle after getting into year 3, another reason is those irritating CCAs I need to commit in my hall. I am left with so little of time for myself. I really wish I would have more time to study and do all my assignments.

This is me. I always have a very negative thinking when I cannot or failed to solve my problems. I will start to look very sienz, talk less and a bit anti social. But the good thing is my way of thinking will change when there is inspiration. It could be a word from other people or I've successfully done something. But can this inspiration come faster??

热脸贴冷屁股

You are just as cool as before.
Even though I was so concerned about you.
Shouldn't you feel touched?
This is you, unpredictable.

wrap up for my 3 months holiday

I can't believe 3 months have gone just like that! like seriously blik, bliak, boom, 3 months time was over !!

I spent the first month at home, slacking. two others on work. Earn around RM 2000 to save to my 'HK SEP foundation'. In between, I joined a program organised by Power Seraya called ' Responsible Energy Advocates Program (REAP)' and got to know some new friends. This was then followed by some household visits which filled up almost every of my Saturdays. Some project research regarding this program was done also.

And now, I am sitting in my room in the hall trying to accept the fact that holiday has already ended! The school will start tomorrow! gosh!

我不想解释，但我是不开心的

我只能说做工是否能做得长久，开心也是其中重要的决定因素。第二次没比第一次来的开心。场景依旧，但人性变了，气氛也变了。小人不少。不知在哪一秒我是被监视着的，或是被人在身后打小报告。有些人表面功夫做得很足，但背后却有不少的小动作。有些人仗着知己升级了就摆着个架势，也不想想其实她自己从以前到现在是多么的懒。一个中年人不顾形象插手然后破后大骂十几二十岁小孩子的感情事，我也只能说你很幼稚。

虽然我不懂在背后陷害我的人是谁，但我一直相信清者自清。我鄙视只敢在人家身后做一些小动作而不敢当面对质的人。我对一些容易受人影响而失去分辨是非黑白能力的人感到失望。

算了，过了我就不再想了，我也不想知道。反正有些人可能以后都不会再见了，讨厌他们只会显示我的EQ低。我真的做的很不开心。我不会考虑再回去了。再见！

假

我忍不住了！人竟然能转眼间变得那么多，人性竟然可以这么的假。在我面前一套，在背后时却是另一套。受不了。在社会上工作就是会遇到这种存有心机，假仁假义的人。

sienzness

Working is boring especially when you are doing repeated things day after day which is the nature of most of the jobs in this world.
I was like spending all my time on working but yet couldn't feel the satisfaction from it except getting back some money. I am left with very little time for myself.
I feel sienz towards everything I do now. I am filled with sienzness now.
But for the SEP I have no choice but to bear with it. I need to earn as much as I can. The happiness is just ahead !! Hong Kong!!

speak a word for SPAIN

GO SPAIN!!

Step Portugal and C. Ronaldo under your boots !!

hopes everything going smoothly and I will fly to Hong Kong

Good news! There is actually a loan for students going to SEP ! This really makes my move to Hong Kong much closer. Now is like about 70% for sure I will go already. I am so excited. Can't believe I can go over there to study and tour. Now I don't think too much. The loan, just pay it after graduation. I will enjoy every moment of my Uni life. There won't have this kind of experience for me once I step out to work.

SEP HKUST, go or don't go.

I received a shocking news when I came back from work today. I was offered SEP to Hong Kong University of Science and Technology. I was shocked because I wasn't offered Taiwan Cheng Kung Uni as what I have expected. Who the hell fought with me to get this Taiwan Uni? I thought nobody wants to go a Uni with Chinese as its teaching language?

I chose Taiwan as my first choice is because it is much cheaper than in Hong Kong in terms of its living expenses. Now I am left to choose whether to knee down in front of money to let this golden chance slip through between my fingers or to struggle hard to earn more money for my expenses there. Only half a year time for me to make SD 6-7K in front of my eyes.

Am I too indulgent to ask for this from my parents? SD 6-7K is not a small amount.

oh, AFRICA !! FIFA WORLD CUP

I can't wait for this coming Friday to support my favourite team, Spain ! The soccer atmosphere is all around. This is the game I and all the people around the world have been waiting for.

Go ! SPAIN !

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NOT FUN !! Working.

Working is not fun. Especially when you are not working for a leisure reason but for money.

Three days have passed. I am bored in doing what I was assigned to do already. Dozed off in office although I had 8 hours sleep everyday. 930am to 530pm to me is damn long.

Office politics is very scary. Something is better that you do not know it than you do.

Old ! Mentally.

I feel that I am old already, mentally. First day working today, I found that I can't communicate well with those teenagers. I can't go into their topics. I even started to talk 人生大道理 to those younger than me. Oh, gosh!

Now I am tired already. Haven't been waking up so early since the holiday started. I need to adjust my biological clock.

Heng ah !!

10 minutes after receiving my result. Quite okay, not as bad as I thought. Those difficult modules I managed to die not so pathetically. Some surprises also. Overall I am satisfied with a minor improvement in my CAP. However, I will still question myself what 'IF' this module I did better, my cap would have increased by a lot! My character will always does this kind of thing. Our life has many IFs, my task is to reduce the chance I ask myself IF.

Compete with myself not others in University.

counting down

3 more days to start working and end my boring and meaningless holiday lifestyle.
2 more days to get back my result. I started to feel jittery already.

Lost my prepaid card

I lost my starhub prepaid card. It means I will lose contact with a lot of people. This might be good for me to forget thoroughly all the unhappiness.

为什么上网？

其实写blog 不过是让你想让他知道的人看到你的心情，
但矛盾的是有些太私密的事情你却又不想让大家都知道。
多希望有些posts 能只让某些人看， 这样就省去这些麻烦。
我相信不会有太多人想知道我的心情吧？
哈哈

现在的人没什么安全感，
网上的这些blog， facebook etc. 正好是让大家觉得自己更有存在感的工具。
希望你在乎的人知道你的感受和境况。
至少我就是这样。

闷疯了

全世界的人好像都很忙， 都有自己的事要做。而我，好像也只有我每天无所事事， 在家闲着。 没事做的感觉真不好。睡也不是，上网也不是，看戏也不是。每天睁开眼都不懂自己要做什么。三个月好长啊！我该怎么做？就这样浪费时间吗？我想找些事做啊！工作也好，出门逛街旅游也好。天啊！！

My true feeling at 12.14am 11 May 2010

Suddenly I think of her, the one that I believe I have fallen in love with but failed to become even a 'friend'. If I have no special feeling in you I wouldn't have been so desperately asking for your contact and adding you in my facebook and MSN. I hate starting a friendship through social network like Facebook or MSN because it will normally fail in the end at least for me.

It has been a year since I saw her during lecture. Slowly through MSN we chatted. However the weird part is we can't chat when we were face to face. Somehow when I tried to ask her out to try to talk and interact with her, there would have some obstacles preventing me. I dunno why, or should I have known?? I can't get what you are thinking. Maybe right from the beginning it was me who over-expected what can happen between us. I was just beside jack when you were telling those stuff pertaining me. I chose not to believe what you told him because I still hope that we can have chance. But now, it seems that you do not have that kind of feeling which I have.

Hoping you to appear in my online friend list everyday is tiring. I should stop. Three months are enough for me to forget a person. At least that kind of 'special feeling' towards you. Again, this is a repetition after last experience, I hope that this would be the last time I get melancholy because of you.

Marina Bay Sands

Pictures taken at Marina Bay and I lost $15 in Marina Bay Sands casino :(

Free but bored

This is only the fourth day of my long 3 months holiday and I started to feel bored already. Although during the school time my time was packed with study, at least I felt that I was doing something meaningful. But now, I am like wasting my life. Actually during this time I should be in Taiwan enjoying my holiday. Due to improper planning, I was unable to go. Next time I should plan early to fully utilize my free time that I am craving and looking forward while mugging for exams.

完了，也完了

I have finished all my exams 2 hours before but happiness can't be generated truly from my body.
This semester is really terrible. I don't dare to think of my result. Suan le, let my result be what it wants to be. Anyway, the release of result would be 2 months later, by that time I would have forgot my feeling now already. By the time I view my result, it would simply be A,B,C,D for me. No other meanings.

I am now craving for some activities or persons to enlighten me. So bored and lost.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The End of Semester 4~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is an exam period

This is written when I am tired of mugging. It is true that I have finished reading all the materials needed for exam but somehow I feel there must be something that I have missed out which might come out in exam. Sometimes I really want to say 'I don't care!'. Exam? what a big deal, I rather watch TV. But somehow after slacking for a while I will feel bad and start to pick up the books and read again. Haha.. This is so contradicting. Maybe this shows that I am still not 无药可救.

I always feel that what I know is not enough for a good result in NUS. Keep revising the lecture note and tutorials again and again, but how much have been really absorbed into my brain? I dunno. The results for this semester can prove everything.

I have a bad feeling that my results for this semester will deteriorate. Please!! I don't want my cap drops..I am tired of the university life already. I hope I can get free, the fastest the best. Looking forward for holiday although nothing has been planned.

ITCHY

I am writing this post with my hand scratching my body. I didn't know I am allergic to alcohol ?! Now the rashes grow all over my body, F*** damn itchy. One can of Carlsberg turned me into this pathetic situation now, arghhhh.....

Messages that get not reply

This is another disappointment. Maybe is because of April fool? I dunno. I feel cheated. Maybe it is a repeat of last experience. It just can't follow what I imagine, I dunno why. I have lost my patience, I will give up. Maybe I am really not your type. But I still hope for a reply from you, at least a 'NO', is it that hard?

The so called Uni life

Sometimes I am wondering why those my friends studying at other Unis other than in S'pore one can have their Uni life so exciting and fun. I am now feeling that my Uni life sucks. Isn't as attractive as what I thought when I was in secondary. I don't have time to breathe. The things smashing on me continuously, non-stop. Assignments, lab reports, presentations, tests.... So this is what tertiary education looks like? I feel that I learn nothing from every single module I have taken. The knowledge does not last. Is it true that entering Uni is just for a paper in the end?

I need some free time for myself, not sitting alone in my room to mug, non-stop... please!!!

IHG '.'

IHG for my part came to an end. The game I was more concerned was volleyball. Though we lost, but at least we got into semi-finals. Good job guys, I enjoyed playing with you all.
Good bye for those 'lao ren' but those who still can play for next IHG, hope to see you all next year. We train again together, break the semis curse, go finals!!

after the 1st week

1st week is over. I am still not in the mood of studying. Never feel like to really take out the notes and study.
IHG is getting near. I am scared that my performance will let the team down when the better one is injured now. I am a bit stressed now. I can still remember the scene when we lost last year...I hope this year will be different.