I knew her in RH. At first I really didn't notice her before she started to appear frequently in front of my room windows. The feeling towards her grew inside my heart without my knowledge. Slowly, I would feel lost when I couldn't see her. Trying to look at the corridor, hoping that she would walk pass, listening to the chair dragging sound produced from upstairs showing that she was in hall, keep checking msn list to see whether she had back to hall or home that allowed her to online, hoping that she would suddenly appear in front of my windows again and give me a shock when I was frustrated in mugging.
I told her through sms, "What I wanted to tell just now was I think I like you. I know you are busy with dance, I just want to let you know." She replied a quite long sms mainly to reject me but what stroke straight to my heart was "I don't know whether you know or not, I am dating with a guy now, and WE ARE VERY HAPPY." I felt I was out, I stood no chance. Although I got some rumours that she sms quite often with a guy, I still tried to tell her my feeling. Hoping that I still had chance. I was wrong. I was nothing to her.
Celebrating my birthday when I was down, notified me whenever she wanted to go home, shared her life stories with me etc.. All of these were only the ways she treated a friend, NORMAL friend. I really don't know why she can give me such a big impact although we only know each other less than a year. Maybe the ways she talk and act being straight forward attracted me.
Really feel a bit regretful to tell her, if not we will still be friend with each other until now. Looking at another side, it is good to tell her also because at least I know I stand no chance. We haven't talked to each other since this incident happened, I doubt she will take the action to talk to me, and I really feel paiseh to talk to her again..I think it would be like this forever until one of us move out from RH. It is really hard to go in the world of a dancer.. We are too far away..I know..Looking her performing on stage, I know we are two parallel lines. Hope she can do well in her dance and study...
the song that suits me the best now..(黄靖伦-缺席）
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTrMFUpeBrg
我想和你在一起，却在你未来缺席....
song that makes me thinks of her every time I listen to it..(michael jackson-black or white)
